Hi! Long time no see after the spring break! How’s it going? I hope everything’s good…
Today I will ask you a question and also my opinion about it.
Have you ever pity yourself? No? Really?
So, I will ask you deeper then. Have you find it hard to accept a situation or circumstance in your life? Feel gloomy about everything and depressed? Have you ever think “Why I’m the only one who has to deal with these problems”? Ever feel like a victim? After that, Do you ask people around you for sympathy and condolences?
Yup! That’s called self-pity!
From what I found –plus my own thought–, there are 7 signs about self-pity people, such as :
1. They find it hard to laugh. Even if they laughed, they never felt like they really laughed from the bottom of their heart.
2. They are a bit of Drama Queen. Everything that happen to them, they will make it like a serial drama about their lives.
3. They are searching for sympathy and they have to find it. The sympathy, acceptance, and affection of other people as a way of feeling better about themselves. What if, they can’t find it? They will feel like they are the most pitiful person in the world.
4. They tend to be individualists. They act like they’re strong enough, but then seek for others sympathy. This is a bit clash of attitude, i think.
5. They are past-oriented people. Of course! They are self-pitying themselves for what had happened to them in the past.
6. They always feel melancholic. However, this doesn’t mean that every melancholic people have self-pity personality, okay?! — because, I am also included in melancholic temperaments. The self-pity people will always feel sad and in a deep introspection, such as think “Why is this happening? Why me?” etc.
7. They tend to be self-destructive, too. They don’t believe that they are worthy of love, even though they search for it. But for me, I think, if you really in this stage, you’re really in the worst stage of self-pitying.
And here’s my opinion. Feeling sorry for yourself is a normal thing. If you never feel sorry, it means you never reflect about your own behavior and wrong doing — This also means you are too self-oriented and always think that you’re perfect, never done wrong. This is also not a good personality to have. However, let’s back to self-pity personality. What make it not normal and not a good thing is if you always feel like you’re the most pitiful person, who get all of the problems may happen in the world.
And what make it worst is when there are people who sympathize too much for you!
They think that you’re so pitiful and miserable, and need their help through sympathy. BUT!!!! Here’s my suggestion to you who are giving sympathy to self-pitying person : YOU’VE DONE WRONG!!! You think you are so patriotic for helping people, right? No, you’re not. You’re not helping them. You made them pity themselves more. Why? Because what they really need is not your sympathy! TRUST ME! IF YOU SYMPATHIZE MORE, THEY WILL PITY THEMSELVES MORE! So, don’t do it!
And here’s my suggestion for you who feel so miserable in life : STOP SELF-PITYING! What you need to do is to solve those problems! Not just crying and doing nothing! Please, don’t ask for sympathy from other people! Ask them for suggestions, ask them for advice — maybe through their past experience, you can learn and solve your problems.
One last thing! Please throw away the thought “I’M THE MOST MISERABLE PERSON IN THE WORLD”!!! Hello!!!!!! Every living people in this world have problems. Believe it or not, that’s what makes us live! We live and get stronger from our problems. What we need to do is to solve and get through those problems we have! Thus, prove that you’re strong and successful person, who can beat all of obstacles in front of you!
Actually, I also pity you… No, no, don’t get me wrong! I don’t pity you because of problems you have. I pity you because you feel you’re the most pitiful person in the world. I pity you because you never look around you and realize how blessed you are.
Author’s note : Don’t get offended by my post. Because I don’t judge anyone, and it is not my right to judge people. If you get offended, all you have to do is reflect on yourself. Ask yourself, “What’s wrong with me? What happen to me? Do I have self-pity personality? Or am I the one who pity them?”. It’s good to introspect and reflect at some point in our lives, just do it and learn from it. Then, you will be a better person in life.